Ignore the outcome/expectations and focus on the process,that's what my therapist told me to do,and I found that advice really good even if I have been doing it unconsciously.
It's just so difficult though, even writing this entry is tough because I don't know what to write,but now I do. I'm juggling with so many issues,trying to fix things bit by bit,but still felt like everything is still shaky,not really feeling like I made a lot of progress. I know,it's my negative voice talking, I'm not in a rush to get anywhere, and i have to take the smallest steps first. It's just, having to remember so many things to try to change my habits is itself a form of stress. Everyone's moved on with the lives. I'm left behind here,to deal with myself. Hopefully, I can find work overseas,because I am dead tired of sweating and the humidity AND even worse,the mosquitoes that disrupt my sleep. I'm now on 2 tablets of fluoxetine instead of 1 tablet to see if it improves my mood,and I'm just one week out of 3 weeks for the effect to kick in. I feel tired the first few days, but I hope it'll settle down soon,because it's a little hard to do things when i'm feeling tired. I still wish i can at least have someone or get a few friends to go cycling with, or to play board games, or even just enjoy playing mobiles games like simcity buildit that i'm playing now. I don't know,maybe I'm just too introverted to get to that point where I can have friends who can do similar things as I have. Still,it's really good to have a friend to go to the gym with now, at least someone I can trust to talk about just anything. I'm trying to turn online to forums like reddit to find people to talk to,but still meeting face to face is the best for me,online messaging seems a bit impersonal and hard to interpret their emotions from the words.
For this post, i think i've wrote enough, having to struggle to find what to write about. I'll just be kind to myself and end here,and if i have anything to add,i'll just revisit and edit the post.
