29 December 2018

#43

No matter how far we are apart from each other,
or how long it takes for us to get together
Eventually, I know we will fulfill our inner desires;
to share our lives together
so that we can be ourselves naturally
and to be there for each other in times of need
as a lover,best friend,parent,teacher,child,clown,therapist and anything else
you need me to be.

Despite all my wishful thinking,
I know that everyone wants to love and be loved
So it's okay for me to feel this way.



Cheesy as hell, but I decided to write this on an impulse. I know who I'm referring to though.

Having a really humid and warm dec weather plus left ear blocked with eax plus random parts of my body is itching really ends the year on a sucky note.

24 December 2018

Europe Trip post

I think some/most of these are what I've already written in my earlier posts.

23/10/18

It's night time, and we walked towards Marymount MRT only because it'll bring us to the airport faster than the other mrt routes. Anyway, at the airport, we went over to T1 via skytrain and then checked in at the furthest most counter from our skytrain stop -_-. Had a bit of problem with names (for my parents, only because the airline website only allows first and last name, but we have 3 separate words for our full names). Dad had another problem when going pass the immigration so we just waited by the mini garden and then we went to have a walk around, and not surprisingly, there's a lot of facilities and things to look and do at Changi, which made it one of the world's best airports. Walked all the way to the end of the boarding gates (because our gate is right at the end ~_~), got in, and had a special lounge just for those 3 gates located there, which I took the time to charge my phone and get some water. Boarded the plane, took off, and watched a few movies before trying to sleep. Flight was slightly colder, but still cool because it's a new plane and has more features to play around with on the in flight entertainment screen.

24/10/18

Reached Berlin and quickly collected our luggage, went to the loo, searched for places that sells sim cards and settle our new issue : book new accommodation. My dad received an email at Helsinki that the accommodation we booked could not accomodate us because of burst pipe, and asked us to shift to another place 7~8km away from the city centre. We disagreed on the choice, and ended up spending some time at the airport to search for new accommodation. Anyway, we stepped out of the airport and experienced our first breeze of chilly air and waited for the crowded express bus to the city. Got to Alexanderplatz, alighted, seek shelter because the wind was colder than what we expected. We actually thought our new accommodation would be quite close, but turned out we walked almost 40 or so minutes with our luggage to get there, and the luggage is really bothersome, but we did stop for some sightseeing on the way since we're already there. Once we reached the hostel/hotel mix accommodation, we still got to pay for the bedsheets and when we got to our room, we still had to remove the old bedsheets that the room cleaning services didn't remove (along with some rubbish). The table was wobbly, the bedsheets were extremely tight to fit in, quite a cram room for a 4 bed dorm, no hot water but better than having no accommodation. After resting a while in the room, we went to the East Side Gallery to look at the graffiti and art on the berlin wall and walked around and then we headed back. With no food, my parents went out to shop at the local supermarket while I have some of my very much needed alone time in the room to recuperate. Had some local takeaway food and local beer from the supermarket that my parents bought, bathed (they at least provided shower cream),and slept like a pig, even though it's my first day and I thought I won't be able to sleep, but felt really tired.

25/10/18

Got up around like almost 10am and went to the receptionist to buy the travel pass for the day. (forgot what I had for breakfast,probably bread or biscuits). Good thing we have a train station nearby, and as long as our pass are validated, we can take it anywhere we want for the whole day, so that's great for us tourists. Though their trains are old, but the drivers really stepped on the accelerators once people are on board, and the first time we took we almost fell down because we're too used to the slow acceleration back home. Anyway, we went to Berlin Wall memorial and walked down the path where parts of the berlin wall once stood (not the same parts as we went yesterday). Got scammed by a group of females asking for donations for some deaf hearing aids, only gave 10 euros but learned my lesson. Also, I'm glad I'm wearing my thicker jacket that I brought just in case, because my fleece definitely won't last in this overcast/drizzling weather, and it doesn't have a hoodie. We then took the tram to the Old Parliament house and snapped some photos there, then had some lunch we prepared while walking, then headed to the Brandenburg Gate. Loads of tourists there as usual, but I notice that there's US and French embassies right next to the attraction, with other embassies down the road. Continued walking quite a while to the WWII museum even though I was feeling tired and got a little low mood by the time we rested at the museum (I actually forgot to take my meds for the first two days). I guess eventually I say that after the next attraction, we're gonna head back to the hostel and rest for the day. So we went off to Checkpoint Charlie, had a break at the KFC, then searched for the nearest train station and headed back. While resting, we found a local restaurant on google maps and decided to give it a try since it's very near our place. My dad and I ordered pig thigh meal, while my mum had fish fillets. Though my dad had the bonier part of the meat, but it's still really filling (and also had local beer and ice cream lol), Also, that restaurant owner speaks really loudly, not shouting, but his voice is really loud lol. We then took train to go to the Brandenburg Gate again at night and walked around, then went back to our room and laze around reading the brochures and shower and getting hot water and probably the moment I always look forward to after a day of moving around,

26/10/18

Got up, checked out of the hostel, got ourselves another day of transport pass, then went to search for lockers at the train station to put our luggage because we still have the day and we don't wanna lug the luggage around. Went to two stations, and finally found an available locker large enough, then had some wurst (german sausages) and burgers at the station's food shop. Walked around, took the tram to random places, then walked around the local attractions (saw a couple getting married in the chilly wind). Left for the airport (Berlin Tegel airport looks really old) then waited at the budget terminal for our flight to Paris CDG. Took the seats on the very end of the plane, and that kinda sucked because we had to wait for everyone in front to move, and the rear door isn't opening because it has a skybridge rather than stairs. Searched around where to take the shuttle bus to our airport hotel, and some local guy misunderstood us and directed us wrongly lol, but we manage to get there and waited quite a long while, and since it was already 11pm, I'm tired, kinda hungry and a bit grouchy. By the time we reached the hotel and decided to buy some food from the vending machine (because there's nowhere else to eat),it's already 1am. Also, the vending machine is really weird, one of them ejected the coin I inserted and still gave me my order anyway, while the other one freezed for a few minutes before dropping the item I wanted and gave some coins out even though I paid the exact amount lol. Too tired, so slept without bathing hehe

27/10/18

Got up like 9am or so, checked out, took the shuttle to the airport, then waited for quite a while (because there's a freaking long queue) to buy the tickets for intercity travel i believe? Anyway,they're quite old fashioned, using tickets still lol, but i guess Singapore is a small country and can afford to use high tech paying methods like ezlink. First thing we reached city centre, was to find lockers. Took us a while and another 3 tickets (3 of us) to reenter the train station and get to the station with lockers. Once we got to that station, it was just a mess trying to navigate between the metro station and the old train station area (the ones meant for long distance). Signage pointed us in confusing direction, security checks (that I can't understand the guy's accent) at the lockers irritates me. Whatever anyway, We're only gonna walk around Paris city centre for the day, and then spend the rest of the time at my uncle's house in the outskirts. From there, we visited the artists' corner, and that surrounding place was absolutely crowded with people. There's a church on the hill, and walking up or down the stairs is a hassle because of people sitting,taking photos, idling and so on. Definitely a change from the lack of tourists in Berlin. Took the train to Arch of Triumph (ironically got vandalised during the latest protests lol), kinda crowded too, but still manage to take a photo on the road divider. Had macdonalds, and as usual,crowded but we got the window seats. They had the monopoly game there too, but it's useless to me since we're not gonna be in France for long. After our 3pm lunch, we walked down all the way to the tourists attraction places (forgot the name), managed to take a shot of Eiffel Tower from far with the sun setting, then more walking past this palace/park, then Louvre Museum, then walked to Notre Dame at night. The station we went near Notre Dame was so old that I thought we were walking into the underground drainage lol. Anyway, collected our luggage, then waited for the train (25 minutes!!) to take us to our destination, which wasn't that long anyway, probably the journey was around 30 minutes. My uncle went and picked us up, got to his house, did everything and went to bed.

28/10/18

Woke up with my parents already gone outside for a walk around the area, had some croissants and then walked around my uncle's garden to look at the grape and kiwis growing on the vines, and there's a lot of kiwis, but very few grapes though. My uncle's wife took us on a drive to the local parks, and on the way we saw some red leafed trees. Never saw that before, but wow it's really nice (it was close to my uncle's house too). Got to the nearby pond, and my uncle's wife was walking their dog while we walked around taking in the scenery. I guess it's such a big contrast to city life because there's hardly anyone walking around, and it feels so relaxing. We went back home for lunch (had grilled lamb and chicken on a portable griller!), then took another walk nearby and happened to stumble upon a few rows of apple trees. The apples were actually much more delicious than supermarket ones, even though it's really small too, but we had fun trying to pick them from the trees (Eventually the next day, we returned with umbrellas to hook the apples off the trees). Then, we walked to the village's supermarket, and then ordered their local pizza for dinner.

29/10/18

Next morning, we got up and went to the nearby park to have another walk around the village since there's nothing else to do. Reached back but since we're still warm from the walk, we decided to pick the kiwis off the vines and actually got quite a lot, even in the cold chilly morning weather, while I saw my uncle taking stock of firewood for winter preparation. I definitely like it here, but the problem is, I got to pass through Paris city first. Free fruits, no crowds, quiet and a cozy house to stay in, amazing. Had our last meal at my uncle's house, then they drove us to the station and we left to spend the last evening finishing up our itineraries in Paris city, which probably only to visit the Eiffel Tower and walk around a bit more. As usual, crowds are all around the Eiffel Tower, and also people selling souvenirs illegally got spooked by a few cops and all cleared their stuff out clearly and disappeared.Anyway, after that we collected our luggage and headed to the bus station where we'll take a bus to Amsterdam Schiphol Airport. Nothing much to see on the way,it's all darkness and rain.

30/10/18

Reached Amsterdam Airport around 6am, and it was still raining when we got off the coach. Went into the airport to get some rest and then took a cab to my uncle's apartment (somewhere at the outskirts of Amsterdam near the airport,with a funny name called Hoofddorp). I got some rest, then when the sun is up, we went off to The Hague for a look around, but again, it's raining and is typical for this time of the year. Also, I should mention that the local trains uses the card system (like ez link here in sg), which is great, something my parents and I are super used to, except that the price for transport is eeexpensive. We didn't get to see much because my uncle can't walk too fast and it's raining so we hid at a museum for a while before heading off to meet my (never met before) cousin and her boyfriend  for dinner. For dinner we had like, a big meal at a local chinese restaurant, with loads of food ordered (My dad & I tried the local beer as usual). TBH I didn't think I'll have such a meal while on vacation, it looks so pricy, but I guess it was worth trying once.

31/10/18

Today my parents and I went exploring Amsterdam city on our own. We actually walked from my uncle's house to the train station this time, with a scenic park on the way too. Before we even got inside the Hoofddorp train station, we already bumped into an issue, which we even had to ask the maintenance guys for the ticket machines for help, and then we realised that you needed to have a certain amount before you can tap in to the gate. Reached Amsterdam, and crowded with people and bikes. We took a free ferry across to have a look around, then went back to the other side to explore the city. Had our meal at a turkish fast food restaurant, then continued to walk around and about and decided to head to a windmill that took about 1/2 hour to get there, and turns out to be some disappointingly generic windmill. We ended up in a thrift store and we bought 3 beanies and a hoodie lol. Walked back to the main city centre and toured around the red light district for a short while, then returned home to my uncle's wife's delicious dinner. My parents went out again to the supermarket to buy some breads and snacks to bring along for our trip, while I get some rest and quiet time.

1/11/18

Woke up, had breakfast, went to the airport with my uncle's wife (because she had to collect the transport card from us to get the deposit back). Somehow, our flight changed gates without letting us know earlier, but whatever, the new gate is just right next to the one we waited at. Flew to Oslo first, mum had some difficulty with passing through from one terminal to the other because we forgot her passport has the luggage stamps on it, and she needs to acknowledge the luggages, which luckily we only spent like 10 minutes struggling before a fellow traveler helped us. We then went straight to our connecting flight's gate and left for Bergen. Collected our bergen card (which is incredibly worth it as a tourist), took the tram to the final stop which took ~40 minutes? and then waited under some shelter at city sentrum while my dad went to exchange for some local currency. As usual, it's drizzling. Anyway, took our bus (nobody checked if we bought tickets or not.which meant we could board the bus from either doors) to our apartment building that's only a few minutes' ride away from sentrum. Now comes the fun part of entering our apartment room. First, we had to wait for someone to open the door, while my dad constantly communicating with the owner via whatsapp. Anyway, we didn't wait long as the owner got someone to come down to open the door for us, then we went to our floor and found the key to our apartment stashed in a hidden part of the wall lol. Dad went down to stash the fees for the apartment somewhere downstairs, while we got in. Had a little trouble opening the door, but got in and took photos of the apartment just in case there's any prior damage (and also to share and remember), which is lucky, because I loved that apartment. It's cozy and small,has everything (kitchen/oven/utensils, shower & toilet, double bed and drawer, a foldable bed for me, sofa and a tv, a table with 2 chairs, a portable heater) and of course, a view over of the hills of Bergen with plenty of houses alongside the hills. We went out for some grocery shopping and we chose to go for the further one and spent quite some time there because things were expensive, but we got what we needed and walked back. After dinner, we went to the rooftop where we have access to the terrace overlooking both sides of the building. One was facing towards the hills close to us, and the other towards the sentrum. Still drizzling, so we went back and settled down. Oh yeah, the apartment building looks really old, but in the apartments themselves, they're actually very modern and new. Love it, and it's cheap (compared to other apartments and even hostels) and near to sentrum and has a good view of the port too. Only issue is the tv can't seem to work, for some weird reason, and tried plugging in wires here and there, but nope.Whatever anyway, there's wifi so that's that.

2/11/18

Had some fairly hard bread for breakfast (that we have to slice ourselves too), went out & still drizzling, made full use of the free transport and went to walk to the funicular. On the way we saw a Macdonalds in a wooden house with a flag outside. Took the funicular around 10+ am and there was no one except us, two or three others and the funicular driver going up,so we got the good seats, and I filmed the journey upwards too. Reached the top and it was so foggy and even colder and we can't see anything, so we walked around for a bit, saw some goats seeking shelter in a hut, then went down. We went up and down a street a few times before finding the right bus stop to take our bus to a nearby open air old bergen museum (and had some snacks for lunch only ugh), took photos of us sitting on a swing attached to a tree, and then chatted with a local for a bit. We slowly went back to the sentrum, stopping along the way for museums, which is pretty empty and is so good not to have to squeeze around. Got to 'fish' for some fishes in the fisheries museum, I thought that's pretty fun and interactive. Walked around the replicas of the old Bergen houses and saw that one of the houses can be moved around, i thought that's pretty cool since you can move around when you're tired of that place. Went to the indoor fish market, saw some people protesting against eating animals, then went to the supermarket opposite the indoor wet market to get some insanely priced donuts. We saw the prices wrongly, and ended up paying for 2 boxes of donuts something like 20 to 30 singapore dollars? I can't remember, but I do know each donut (small ones) are like $1 each. Ugh. Anyway, we went to the even nearer supermarket to our apartment building, bought stuff for dinner and went back. Somehow, the shower drain was kinda choked and nearby flooded the whole toilet lol.

3/11/18

Raining again, and I got a little unhappy that we have nowhere to go, so we ended up in Fridays for a burger and platter meal, then after that, I felt better (food always makes me feel better lol), we went off to the science museum, where the whole museum is catered to kids, but it's so much more interactive than the ones we have here in Singapore. Then we took the tram to somewhere on the outskirts of the city and walked our way to that famous wooden church. We actually had a climb a hill to get there, and as usual, not a single tourist in sight, only the locals whose houses are actually really close to the church too. Church wasn't open of course, and needed entry fee (which is covered by the bergen card). Then we walked pretty far to some mansion which wasn't that nice anyway, and also because the sun has already set. So we got a bit confused and ended up walking our way back to the tram stop, and reached the sentrum. Not nearly time for dinner yet, we went up the funicular to Mt Floyen again for a night view, and manage to get a clear night's shot of the view of the city. If I remember correctly, the landlord came over to take a vacuum cleaner and helped us fix the issue with TV, and now we get some entertainment at home too.

4/11/18

Today's fjord cruise day, and we got up at 9 and decided to walk to sentrum instead of taking the bus, which only took us like 20 minutes, and the boat was packed. I guess since not much shops are open on Sunday, the best thing us tourists can do is to go for a cruise. Was on the top deck for most of the journey towards the touristy part of the fjords, and my hands were freezing, but I still got plenty of shots even though people were hogging the best spots on the boat. After a stop at the waterfall, we turned back and I headed down to rest and enjoy the view from the heated deck. We then reached back for lunch, and we decided to try whale steak (which costs something like 60 singapore dollars for a small portion). I have to say, the meat is a little red on the inside, because it's probably medium rare, but I prefer well done. Still it tastes a little like beef, quite lean, but of course, I'll never be eating whale meat again, in case anyone gets offended or whatnot. We went off to the aquarium after that and got in free (because in autumn/winter, it's free, but if we came in the summer with the card, it'll be at a discounted price), spent some time looking at penguins swimming, then a sea lion show, then toured around the insides (with a reptiles section), and loads and loads of species of marine life and fishes. We then walked quite a bit back to our apartment from there, because our card had expired by then (it got activated the moment the time was written on the card, and expired 3 days later, since we bought the 3 day card).

5/11/18

We went up to the terrace to have a morning look at our surroundings, then packed up and left for the train station. We walked like some 20 minutes or so to the train station, where we first discovered a toilet that requires credit card access to it. I always thought they'll probably use a coin machine like everyone else, but who the heck has a credit card to swipe everytime they need to use a toilet? Also, living in Singapore/ humid countries mean that we have to continue to keep drinking water to replenish our body supplies, but they don't have to do that over in cold countries, so probably why they have little toilets. As for why they need credit cards, norway is rich or that they're trying to become a cashless society. Anyway, got on our train to Oslo. We spent most of our time eagerly taking photos, while snacking on some local potato crisps lol. There's way too many times (especially in the first few hours of the trip) where tunnels keep popping up and preventing us from taking a proper photo, but the sceneries were definitely worth it, especially when it starts to change from the green and brown lower land to the black and white wintry mountaintops. Frozen rivers, scattered houses, and a bright sunny sky really helped make the trip worth it. Got to Oslo, walked to our apartment (which was way further than we thought, and had a very minor breakdown where I told my dad we might as well have taken a taxi half way walking there, and then eventually used the gps to lead us there). I rested in the apartment while my parents went for groceries shopping. Room was kinda stuffy and weird shaped, but it had to fit into the old building which I guess used to be a factory. Anyway, our window was right beside the road (along with few other apartments next to us), so we only opened the window slightly while keeping the chain there to prevent anyone from opening wider). Also, the shower/ toilet actually somehow has heating on the floor, which is kinda interesting. We purchased this place because it was dead cheap and on promotion, and it's definitely worth it even though we got a 4 bed apartment instead of 3.

6/11/18

Got up next morning and walked our way back to the train station so that we can visit the tourist information centre and activate our 24 hr oslo pass. We got that, took the train half hour to the ski museum, and took a lift right up to the top of the ski museum and overlooking the surroundings. It's mostly foggy and cold, but there's a winner's podium there, where my mum took a shot of me standing on the second place. Got down, took the train back, had home packed sandwiches while on the train, then walked around trying to find the bus stop where we can take the bus to the museums. First stop was the Natural history museum, where an open air museum of old houses of Oslo are displayed and build to assemble an olden day village. There was a part of the museum closed off because someone was shooting a film there, and I remember my mum got asked to leave because she kept going nearer to the set lol. A few minutes' walk is the Viking ship museum, where 3 ships was displayed. Mum had to put her bag in the storage room, but good thing it's free though. We manage to get a really nice shot of the ship and it's shadow when we got in. Walked around a bit more than left for the bus stop to the next group of museums 5 minutes away. We decided to go into the Fram Ship museum (about a polar exploration ship and it's people and journey). We actually got to explore a replica of the ship and walking around looking at how people used to live on the ship. Got to play an arcade game about shooting wild life and avoiding humans, did pretty badly lol. Got inside an igloo and there was a video playing. Left the museum just before closing time (5pm) and took a bus home. On the way, the bus decided to rest and driver told us to board the other bus beside. We have no idea what's going on, but we did what he said, but the other bus drove off by the time we got to the other side of the road, so we ended up boarding the same bus and waiting for the driver to resume driving lol. Went to supermarket, bought a can of cocktail and it tastes so much like fruit juice with alcohol in it. I might wanna try other cocktails the next time if it tastes similar.

7/11/18

Checked out of apartment next day, took the train to the train station so we can deposit our luggage, then went around hoping to take a boat, but unfortunately, no boats were there so we were just walking around randomly, then headed to the palace where there was a lot of little children in beanies and colourful jackets being led around lol. We also saw the guards moving around from time to time, which is pretty cool. Took some photos, walked around and stopped to have lunch at the palace garden, then rushed off to find a toilet, which unfortunately, also requires credit card access, which my dad's card wasn't accepted. Luckily, a guy came along and we went in after him lol. We then walked down the city to Oslo Opera House, which was our last stop for the trip (and thankfully near the train station too). We walked up the slopes of the building and then went down and went in where we rested and enjoyed the warm heated insides for a bit. Since we still had some time left, we went to walk to the nearby fortress (which we walked a huge circle before entering the fortress ground), visited their toilet (which luckily is free), then headed for the train station. We got to Oslo airport early, so we just rested while I stowed my winter jacket away, choosing to only carry a sling bag to carry on. Also, I changed shoes and I just realised that stinks so much after so much walking lol. We bought some chocolate and 2 cans of sobersby cider drinks while waiting. Our flight got delayed because the plane had a minor issue and had to turn back to Helsinki before coming back again. By the time we reached Helsinki, we had to rush to our connecting flight, which we still have to pass through passport control, and eventually we think we were the last to board the flight, because I remember just storing the bags on the overhead apartment and hearing the captain saying boarding is completed. This time, however, I think I managed to get some sleep on board, and as usual, I polished off every meal they gave me, except for some yucky veggie thingy.

8/11/18

Reached Singapore, took a cab home, crammed all our purchases onto a table and took a photo of it and that's it. Surprisingly, I had no jet flight even a week after coming back home, always slept soundly at night. Didn't really buy a lot to gift to friends, except a few chocolates, but honestly though, why do people go on trips and buy things back to gift to others?

Overall, Norway was excellent even though it's expensive, Amsterdam is also pretty good, although we didn't get to explore the countryside, same with Berlin, but more of historical stuff and building in Berlin. For Paris, I only really enjoyed the countryside stay with my uncle, but the city was meh.

Finished this just before Christmas Day, whew. Also, I plan to put more effort into getting to Xmas dinner (or for this year, Xmas lunch) instead of repeating what I did last 2 years,and know that I am still on the journey of recovery and improvement.

04 December 2018

#42

Sorry for the lack of posts lately, but there's really not much to write on. Anyway, today I went to the peer support group session, and it turned out to be alright, we mostly covered stuff that I've already touched on during my individual therapy sessions with my psychologists, and also the group size is just fine for me, there were like 7 of us and the specialist to facilitate the discussions. I guess most of us are shy and hesitant about opening up and that's still fine, but I intended to make my first session more of an observation on how things are being done around and for now, I will make an effort to go for the first few sessions and see what else is being covered, and to also meet new people (but all of us can come whenever we like, so there's bound to be new people in the group). Also some of my peers mentioned that they read self-help books, so I'm glad that they know there's many ways to getting help or finding the things they need to get better.

How many sessions do I need? I don't really know, but I know I can more or less sustain myself with no relapses or setback since like the start of this year? I think the less setback was Christmas, but I know this time round I will have to do better and apply what I've learnt. Of course, I still have my sights on my long term goals, to work overseas. Also, yes, I really really really need to start writing up my trip, because that's what I planned to do but kept procrastinating lol.