My life right now

I'm determined to find work overseas. I'll start off with some internship as recommended by TARGETjobs.uk (recommended by uni graduate services). I really enjoy living independently, as well as the cooler weather even if it means i have to be alone. I mean,it's not as if I meet up with a lot of friends lately. I only meet a few friends once a month,the rest of the month is staying at home. I also taken up an interest in amateur photography a.k.a spamming photos, and with my new phone, i can go around with my phone and not need to carry another digital camera. I want to explore new cities, but more importantly, go to the countryside before the world turns into shit. My parents are still capable of taking care of themselves, so I can afford to work overseas like my elder brother before they need help with mobility and such. I don't mind working in other countries,no necessarily the UK, as long as they have better working hours/ethics than SG.

Regarding my health,i'm going for my right ear surgery early next year,probably in january. I'm very worried that my right ear will suffer a loss in hearing, just like my left ear,which showed a big loss in high frequency sounds. It's so scary,i don't want to live through my life being partially deaf.

As for my depression, I feel like i'm in the hardest phase right now. I'm already attended 3 psychotherapy sessions, and I know there's some improvement,very small,but still better than nothing. I shared more things than I have ever dared to share with anyone online/facebook,or offline,yet there's still so many many more things that I need to tell the psychologist,and i feel so impatient waiting to feel better. I've never felt more focused on getting better mentally than ever before. Honestly, I'm really looking forward and can't wait for the next psychotherapy session to come so I can quickly dump all my thoughts out. For the first time, i felt like talking does actually make me feel slightly better, even though i will return back to my depressed state later on. I'm not talking to my fb friends about it ,i just want listening ears,just want some people to know what i'm going through, but the real talking should be left to the pyschologist as she is the best person to help me right now,and when i get better, i might feel slightly more easier to talk to my friends about what i'm facing. Right now, i've been asked by my psych to do some physical exercise, she told me to do 10 push ups daily for the period between the first and second session, then 10 push ups + 1 minute of plank daily before the third  session. Now,i need to look up CV formats + 10 push ups + 1 minute of plank and report how successfully i have done each of those when the fourth session comes. I chose to drop the looking up of cv formats as my psych wanted me to do,but instead, i chose to do something more important to me right now,and that is to write down my thoughts as much as i can during the week between the last and the next session,so i won't forget and also allow her to better understand my situation.

I'm going to create another blog with this post as it's first, but that blog will be more public and less detailed/more vague than this semi-private blog that i post on for my selected viewers only.