#16

oved a lot of stress but yet still more keep piling onto me. I cannot handle this I can't fucking handle it FUCK No one can help me. If they helped me,i'll only mistake it for more stress and frustration. If they did nothing, i'll get mad at them especially that manchild jeremy (i can forgive others,but not him,since months ago). If they speak truthfully,i'll won't believe them. I don't care anymore,even if i sound hypocritical. It's too much to bear. Nothing anyone can do can save me from myself. It's so fucking confusing. No one can tell me what to do, does that mean no one can tell me that suicide is the wrong choice? Suicide,i think is the only way that I can get rid of all my problems once and for all. The only thing holding me back is not wanting to pass on my problems to my family and friends,but I want to take care of myself. I want to take care of myself by ending my problems, and no one can tell me what to do. I only wish someone in the world will miss me when i'm gone. it's a pity i didn't make any positive impact on peoples' lives,only constant ranting, annoyance and guilt. I'm so sick of this condition,constantly corrupting and ignoring my needs, I'm tired, i want to long break from this torture, and it seems like there's nowhere to hide, nowhere to avoid this nightmare condition. I really want to take charge of my life, but i feel so messed up that i don't even know anymore. I can easily end my suffering, i live on the 22nd floor, or a million other ways to kill oneself,all it takes is to choose one. Death is not the way out? Don't be so fucking selfish. Does whoever said that mean that they want to see me continue to suffer endlessly until when? When will be the end of the pain? I wish there was some kind of legal assisted death, where i can donate my organs to less fortunate souls, for I am just a worthless piece of shit.